Living as insane and wild as I've always wanted

So to summarize my time so far in New Zealand, crazy is a good work. I met an amazing woman who listened to me ramble and make self-deprecating jokes, and appreciated and understood every minutiae of what I said. That she once dated the man I was brought here in honor of is all the more amazing, lending a surreal feel to our interaction. At the same time as I developed a meaningful friendship with this woman, I fell into infatuation with a girl who through me into emotional turmoil and sent me spiraling out of control. I felt drawn toward self-destruction, but with the help of my brothers and friends, pulled myself together and realized I was actually just homesick and moody, and needed perspective. I had effectively lost the plot, and the advice of good family and friends reminded me of the plot. They reminded me that I am here to make wine, hone my craft, and enjoy the country, and I began to do that again. Then I met a girl named Catherine who shared good conversation and human connection and reminded me that the point of human interaction is to connect and learn and inspire, to converse and vibe. We spent little time together but she was what I needed at a moment I needed it, and was a great "single-serving friend," as Tyler Durden aka Brad Pitt said in Fight Club, teaching me that God is the space between people's minds. All the while, amidst all of these intense personal dramas and lessons, I worked and learned at Craggy Range Winery, and spent my days of exploring, hiking, wine tasting, and working out intensely at the gym.

Since this tumultuous start to my time here in New Zealand, things have only gotten crazier. I have returned to my oft-subscribed approach of filling ever minute with sixty seconds of sprinting. On Easter weekend, I climbed to a mountain peak with four friends (coworkers, a random local friend, and a local guy I met via couchsurfing.com), went to a barbeque and stayed up till 5am drinking with the guys and girls over at Vidals Winery in Hastings, then worked the next day for eight hours, then went out on the town with Chris from Vidals and checked out an amazing live reggae band perform, after which we afterpartied with the band until late in the night. The next day I worked another eight-hour shift, after which I met up with my woman friend mentioned earlier and we went on a road trip to Mahia (a famed surf beach that is quite beautiful), a hot springs near there, and a waterfall in Northern Hawke's Bay. I got some sleep, then went wine, honey, and cheese tasting. Another random day spent with a different friend, we went mountain biking, abalone (called pawai here) diving but failed, and then to a hot spring. Another day with the same friend we went surfing, then ran the hills to Te Mata Peak.

Another day I went out with Chris again, and when I got home at 6am, I stared up at Te Mata Peak from my house, and spun around in wonder looking at the beauty surrounding me. I thought to myself: "this is amazing, and yet I never acknowledge it. I should drink it in daily, and I haven't for weeks. This is inspiring. I should climb that mountain. Right now. It's what I would do if I were as crazy adventurous and spontaneous as I wish I was." But of course, I knew I wouldn't. It would be ridiculous. I was exhausted, needed sleep, and besides, it was 5am. I went into the house, took off my clothes, and crawled into bed. But something felt wrong. I felt a curse upon me. I had a sensation that if I didn't go through with climbing that mountain, I was a fake, a liar, that my adventurous ambitions were bullshit, that I had failed to change myself. That I was still the conservative, organized model Capricorn I once saw myself as. I felt that if I didn't climb that mountain, I would be cursed, impotent, hopeless for months to come. And in that moment, I knew it was true. Because if I have learned nothing else by my travels and travails, it is that life is what you make it, and what you think it. I am nothing if not a self-fulfilling prophesy. When I decide to do crazy, compulsive, inspired actions, it boosts me, making me feel alive and capable and novel. So I put on my hiking clothes, and set out. The wet grass soaked my feet quickly. I had to dodge cow shit to reach the base of the mountain. Up the first bit, I was tired and slow. Up the steeper bit, I moved in lurches, stopping and catching my breathe and energy at intervals. As it got even steeper, I panicked and had to calm myself by turning around, and watching the sunset. It was beautiful, the valley below me, cows grazing, the river flowing with fog above it, hills rolling. It and the sunlight shadowing it kept me going. I pushed on, and when it got too steep, I found a new route. As I neared the peak, I picked up the pace, and ran the last bit (although I was aware that I did not run, I slow-motion ran). I reached the peak, and collapsed in the grass, face first. After a bit, I got back up and looked around at the view, then collapsed again, back first, and looked up at the sky. I knew I had done it, and it felt surreal. I felt above and beyond myself. I had recreated a part of myself, because a me I once knew would not have done such a foolish, inspired thing. But me now had, and it felt amazing. It felt right.

So I have lived inspired, and active, and happy, recently. I keep doing fun things and hanging out with fun people and being happy. It's been a good time.

Harvest time

So since I am so lackluster about posting on this, my travel blog, I've decided that the only, obvious solution, is to make another blog! So I have, dougwisor.blogspot.com, where I will post about my harvest experience at Craggy Range, in Hawke's Bay, New Zealand. I'll post more regularly there than I ever have before in this blog, simply because it is easily done, as it will just be a detail of my day's work. I'll try to post on this blog about my daily, personal experiences and thoughts, but as you know (if there's anyone out there who actually reads this thing), I probably won't post much, since the things that really matter are too personal to post publicly, and the things suitable for public posting don't inspire me enough to write. Enjoy! hah...